It Wasn’t Too Late

Relationship Abuse

For years, I used to be afraid
Filled with guilt and shame
I just couldn't comprehend
And to talk about it just made no sense
For I never saw myself going thru such dismay
Almost five years of unbearable emotional pain

Beatings that caught me off guard
That didn't seem to go away
Slaps were no longer enough
Now I am being dragged down the hallway
Daily night struggles as we argue
With chunks of hair being pulled out of my head

Saying sorry and starting over
Just became the way
Praying for things to get better
Didn't want this hell everyday

The good times began to fade away
They no longer mattered
For the worse was yet to come
To destroy everything
And that day sure came
I remember it like it was yesterday

The weather was cold and wet
Clouds of different shades of gray
An argument escalated and got out of hand
He committed foul play
A sucker punch was given
Black and swollen is how my eye remained

But nothing compared to the shame
It killed me inside
To have to see my mother the next day
With him next to me
Not knowing what to say or how to explain
Having to lie to her
Broke my heart in so many ways

Yet, I remained positive
And began to reach out for my faith
Indeed I began to pray
I prayed for strength
For one day to be able to walk away
But fear had a grip on me
I was stuck in this place

This person who I loved
Who I thought I knew
Slowly began to decay
And I began to rot the longer I stayed
I was just completely drained
Mentally, emotionally, physically
I felt nothing, I was dead

But enough was enough
I decided to be brave
And speak up against my demons
That I kept locked away
Such freedom that I felt
I have no words to explain
It just felt good to release
All that was eating me away

And for that remaining year
I continued to pray
For the man above to give me a sign
Telling him I will not hesitate
And be courageous enough to finally say
I've had enough, I can no longer stay

And that's exactly what happened
A sign came my way
Didn't think twice
Packed my bags, called my mom
And she was here the next day

But my heart ached with pain
To leave a family that displayed
Nothing but love and warmth towards me
That made me feel at home everyday
But us being together wasn't healthy
We had to part our ways

Now this part of my story
Has come to an end
And experience of a lifetime
With an uneven balance of good and bad days

I don't hate hit, karma will have her way
I forgave him for me
To finally release the dead weight
And with time and patience
My days got brighter as they came

I no longer feel ashamed
I feel proud of myself
For recognizing my wrongdoings
But mainly for speaking up
And telling my family and friends

I most admire myself for being brave
To have been able to walk away
And not have my life story end
With such a phrase saying
It was just too late
By: Mayra 'MAC' C.

 

 

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